This situation is effecting every part of my life?

you always want what you cant have...best advice, break up with your current bf cuz its not fair to him. Spend some time alone and reflect. ask yourself "why do i want him, love him, need him" " what has he done to deserve me?" at the party you are just going to have to hold your head up high and keep your dignity intact, stop trying to contact him, it only feeds his ego.